


Mission Impossible

by DungeonInspector



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Gen, Humor, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, One Shot, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Short One Shot, period, poor kurapika
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2016-10-12
Packaged: 2018-08-31 11:23:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8576611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DungeonInspector/pseuds/DungeonInspector
Summary: It's Neon's time of the month. As one of the poor souls on duty, Kurapika makes a trip to the pharmacy.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Another of my stories from FF.net.

Kurapika and Basho stood guard by the door of Neon's room with only the ticking of the clock to keep them company. It was a Tuesday and a rare quiet moment. Neon had left their sight after publicly announcing that she "had to go to the little girl's room."

With the loss of Neon's fortune telling ability, the Nostrade family was relying on Kurapika more than ever. However, he had yet to convince Neon's father, Light, to allow him to handle the financial accounts. He needed to continue to gain favor with Light and to build up more influence within the family and the mafia community at large if he were to have any hope of regaining his family's eyes. No matter how small the task he would show the utmost professionalism.

That determination was tested as Neon's panicked voice drifted from under her bathroom door. "Help."

Kurapika stretched his aura. His En didn't reach more than a few meters, but it was large enough to confirm that Neon was alone. "She's safe."

Basho gave a slight grunt and shrugged. "I bet she needs more toilet paper."

Knocking lightly on the door, Kurapika asked, "Are you alright, Boss?"

"I need pads!"

"Uh... What?" said Basho, paled several shades as he stared at the bathroom door.

"I asked for pads, are you deaf!"

Basho groaned. With a strained voice, he asked, "Didn't you have three weeks to prepare for that already?"

Neon huffed. "I'm irregular."

 _ _'oh...'__ Kurapika's eyes widened in understanding. It was not as if women were the only ones capable of bleeding; he bled too. Granted he required something to cut, punch, shoot, or injuring him in some other way first. This was a perfectly natural body function and there was no reason to panic.

Kurapika's calmly asked, "What kind do you need?"

"I don't know. Eliza buys them for me."

He held back a frustrated sigh. Eliza had yet to return from her extended leave after Squala's death. Asking her second attendant wasn't an option either. Light had fired Neon's other attendant as part of recent budget cuts.

"Do you know what the package looks like?"

"Umm, it's red-ish. Oh, I do know they're the ones with wings!"

Kurapika frowned as he failed to imagine exactly what this red-winged thing would look like. To him, it sounded closer to some type of creature than something he'd expect to find in a store. He began to doubt his meager knowledge on the subject.

"Looks like she's narrowed it down to about a million choices," said Basho with a snort. "I don't want to go, I won't know what to grab and the place looks like a clown vomited a rainbow."

Kurapika resisted the urge to roll his eyes, one trip to the pharmacy couldn't be that difficult. Taking pity on his subordinate he said, "I'll go buy them. Basho your in-charge of the Boss till I return."

The walk to the nearest pharmacy was short and quick. Buying the goods would be simple: get in, get out, and pray he grabbed the right one. Neon's tantrums were nothing to be sneezed at.

Wondering into the store, he had to pace down the main row for awhile before he hit the hygiene section. Down the isle, there were hundreds of packages in various shades of red, pink, purple, orange, and green. Everything was so bright and colorful, it looked like if any of the packages opened sprinkles would come pouring out.

His curious nature got the better of him as he picked up boxes at random to read the product labels. Why did there need to be so many varieties of what is basically a cotton ball? The pictures on the box clued him into what wings were, but he still questioned their function. The biggest mystery in his mind though was why so many were scented? Did they have different scents? Who exactly was smelling down there?

Kurapika keenly felt at a loss from having no female relatives to draw advice from. Since the loss of his family at twelve, he'd almost exclusively been around other men. His mother was dead, he'd never had a sister, and his best friend, Pairo, had been a boy too. Gon, Killua, and Leorio were all guys as well. As he thought about it, he noticed Melody was his only female friend.

It was horrifying to realize at eighteen he only interacted with two women on a daily basis: Melody and Neon. For being half the population, there was a surprising lack of them in his life.

He pulled out his phone and dialed Melody's number. He didn't want to bother her on her day off, but this was an emergency. Tapping his foot impatiently, he waited for her to pick up. "Melody..."

"Kurapika, I can hear your heart pounding over the phone. What's wrong?"

He almost denied her statement, but he knew it would be pointless to argue. The best he could do was take a deep breath and hope it calmed his heartbeat. "Do you know what pads the Boss uses? I'm in the feminine care aisle."

"I don't know. I use tampons."

He pulled a box of tampons off the shelf hoping that perhaps that could work as a substitute. His eyes fell onto the product description and he placed it back. Silently he thanked his father in heaven that he was not a girl. Shoving things inside oneself seemed unpleasant. "...Sorry for troubling you."

He hung up.

There was a limit on how much he wanted to know about the people around him and he'd hit it.

Completely lost he began picking up packages at random. As long as the package was red it was an option. One of the combinations of the words super, ultra, scented, wings, overnight, thin, long, maximum, and flexible had to be correct. This was a regrettably inefficient and expensive approach. Given the Nostrade's current financial state his paycheck would be eating most of the cost, but he had a task and he was going to complete it.

As he grabbed a fourth box another man came down the aisle. The man stopped a few feet short of him to observe the wall of feminine care products. An air of discomfort hovered over the pair as the newcomer kept looking over at the boxes in Kurapika's arms.

His face completely flushed red the other man turned to Kurapika. He said, "Miss, which ones should I get for my girlfriend?"

Kurapika felt like he'd survived the Kuruta massacre only to die of embarrassment. His cheeks turned red. Refusing to look at the other man, Kurapika did what he always did when he was overwhelmed; he clung to any shred of anger he could find. Behind black contacts, red eyes flashed in warning as he glared up at the source of his irritation. "I'm a man."

"Well, this is ...uh awkward."

Curtly Kurapika said, "Excuse me." Before rushing past the man to get to the check-out area.

A female cashier smiled at him and gestured to the light showing that the line was open. Kurapika ignored her. He'd had enough small talk to last him a lifetime. Given his luck, she'd try to commiserate with him on the pains of menstruation.

One self-checked and a short walk later, he returned to his post.

Basho gave him a large congratulatory slap on the back. "Looks like you made it back in one piece."

His shoulders sank with relief under Basho's large hand.

"Just give them to me already!" Neon insisted, through clenched teeth. Leaning over carefully, she cracked open the door and reached out. "Thanks."

Handing over one of the boxes Kurapika replied, "No problem Boss."

The door closed with a _click_.

"Scented, are you trying to say something?!"

As he rubbed his temples to fight the beginnings of a headache, Kurapika reminded himself that this was all just a step in regaining the scarlet eyes.


End file.
